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Affection to Arrogance

PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/VETTA

The child is a social product. It renews the race, and it is the future of a nation. Its shape usually depends on how to handle it in which direction. Growing up/socialization is primarily the subject of parents and family. If parents imply appropriate control and strategies it results as per expectation (more or less). Besides biological factors, socio-cultural and economic milieus determine the positive hood of a child so far as moral and psycho-social developments are concerned.

Thus, parental love & affection, care and attention towards their limerent object (a child as hope and expectation of parents and it is a good feel factor of satisfaction of being in love) are basic needs of a child. According to the several theories of childhood, the role of parents and family, etc., it postulates different types of style of parenting and its impact on a future hood of a child.

For example, the parent-centred approach or authoritarian style of parenting has an adverse impact on child to be deviant or negative hood. On the other hand, the child-centred approach or democratic style of parenting is better for shaping a child personality towards positivity. In practice, the child-centred approach has also, to some extent, adverse impact. If we evaluate the observations of this child-centred approach in present context what we see that a child is more demanding, arrogance, violent and sense of morality is absent or little bit.

Why is this? When parents are more concerned to make their off-springs happy and prosperous, parents are delighted to provide all child’s needs whether a child demands or not. It is an era of competition of status and identity. Majority of them involves in showing off his/her status and identity within his/her network of the relationship and outside(micro & macro world). This show off starts first within the family regime(Although now family is mostly nuclear/non-nuclear). It becomes very prominent when a child is being admitted in pre-school/play school/day care centre and so forth as a cage for a child).

Parents provide food, dresses, toys and other modern gadgets to a child by which parents’ love, affection and status are being glorified to their fellow members of network of the relationship. Even selection of school for a child is a status and identity consumption. They consciously or deliberately push their child into a world of greed. They teach the child from very babyhood to be a  professional of high money making and orient for a life of an aristocrat. They share that what the difficulties faced in their childhood, their child should not ever.

 So, meaning of love & affection and care & attention has resulted in this way to the present world. What do we ultimately see? A Child becomes more demanding, arrogance, disobedient and aggressive. They indulge with competition of greed. Incidents of child crime are the example of adverse socialization. Humanly qualities and morality, respectfulness, etc. miss gradually. A child matures as adult before ‘growing out of childhood.’  They learn to be self-fish and self-centred and they like to be happy with their own happiness. A peer/friendship becomes mechanical or material oriented. A child learns to do politics with the parents because it is an emotional object to the parents. It is nothing but a repetition what parents teach from infancy.

Now childhood is deprived by their parents for fulfillment of own wants. We see that a child enters into a world darkness of intoxication, sexual acts and it is due to absence of appropriate control and strategies.Parents should love and to be affectionate for moral development of a child. There is need of practice of the parent-child-centred approach/authoritarian-democratic style of parenting/mixed parenting style, to protect the child from obnoxious involvement.

Parents should teach about voluntary simplicity, sacrifice and love to share for living with peace. They are assets of the nation, and we should guide them for making our nation’s future.

The views and opinions expressed by the writer are personal and do not necessarily reflect the official position of VOM.
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Written by Harasankar

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