We celebrate women’s Day every year with different themes. This year’s theme is #chooseTochallenge, so I #chooseTochallenge if marriage is a vehicle, where male and female are two equal wheels to reach the destiny of life together, if we give heavy load onto one wheel, it would surely get burst or lead to an accident damaging the whole vehicle and consequently would not reach to destiny.
Similarly giving too much load of marriage onto Bride would consequently fail marriage. The rational question comes, Why dowry is given by the bride’s family? While both males and females do equal efforts to nurse their families in post-marriage life. Even though the first sacrifice comes from the bride’s side, she changes everything from her identity viz. name, place, and priorities to everything to make marriage a success. Logically this is enough from a bride’s side. Now it’s the groom’s responsibility to fulfill his side of commitment. In spite of that you force or traumatize the bride and her parents for money and goods, It is getting ugly day by day, the act of holding the girl’s family on ranson for things such as vehicle. Due to this many innocent lives are being ended.
In the recent sensational case of Ayesha, a young lady commits suicide diving into Sabarmati River due to dowry demand. Her last helpless word has awoken us. Many such cases were unseen. In 2019, dowry death cases in India amounted to more than 7.1 thousand (Published by Statista Research Department).
Dowry is neither fit into rationality nor affirmed by religion, not endorsed by civil society. It has no place in a civilized society; Dowry is a Sin, a sin which is being practiced for long in Indian society irrespective of caste and class in the name of tradition or culture. It is not a tradition or culture but a ‘Curse’ for a society that devastated or devastating each minute many homes. If we consider ourselves civilized or educated people then we must abandon this evil atrocious practice with immediate effect as in past we did many social reforms. This is high time to strike down such conservative & stereotypes practices to save or sustain the Indian family system.
The first step to counter it is within a family, we have to train & teach both boys and girls that marriage is a union of male and female with equal partnering where each has to play his/her role equally. No one is superior or inferior and both deserve love and respect. For making marriage success parents must teach boys also their responsibility. Here all expectations and values judged in girls need to be balanced.
I appeal through this medium to every parents and boys who are reading this please abandon the dowry practice it’s not a matter of pride but a shame for you and a curse for society. Teach your son and daughter to give respect and love to his/her partner what she/he deserves. And also teach your girl child to be empowered enough to put across their thoughts and take a stand against this bullshit if it comes to you. Do not take your life.
Our Indian culture is deep-rooted in patriarchy that encourages only male child education. An educated girl can educate the whole family, kin, and society, without educating them you can’t build a progressive society. I request to parents that if you want to bring change in society, teach your girls not necessarily in good or modern school but educate them so much that they become independent not only on finances but also in thoughts, ideas, decisions, and rituals. I also appeal to girls, ‘educate yourself if you want to bring change whether it’s within you, family, community, or nation, you must have to possess that knowledge or power.
Many governments or non-government organizations are working on it to empower women. Rising Tree is one of them which also works for girl child education and women empowerment especially targeting marginalized sections of society. It runs women’s enlightenment centers in remote areas of Jharkhand where there is no access to school or college for children or girls. You should promote or support these types of work or initiatives so that it gives maximum benefit to the needy.
Raise and Rise
The views and opinions expressed by the writer are personal and do not necessarily reflect the official position of VOM.
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