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Relations,affections&Attachments in Nuclear families of Hindu fa

Cntd_Part III:-Nuclear families of modern era Vs Joint families of yester Era

In the last 2 parts dealt briefly the many advantages the olden generations enjoyed in Joint family system ( despite some drawbacks and exploitation of the weaklings and illiterate due to their financial dependence on the elder members of joint family members who were manipulative &opportunistic),

         As already said in the previous part ,when members of the joint familes started educating their children and grandchildren realising the importance of education and self  financial independence rather than depending on the meagre land holding of joint family where one should be at the mercy of orders and direction of the head of the joint family putting break to the aspirations of many younger one in the joint family,gradually many members of joint families started permitting younger generation to migrate to towns and cities for better and higher education facilities, and to pursue greener pastures ,instead living in villages and pursuing agriculture as occupation fo livelihood.Ofcourse all the cousins of joint family enjoying love,affection and attachment to eachother and with elders like uncles,aunts ,granny’s missing from theronwards.

With Nuclear families of each separating from the joint families necessitated due to the desire and ambition of the modern youth to improve their lot in the so iety with name and fame the road to success is not that much easy,but hardwork right from student stage to settling in a a good line of career,then marriage ,and the shell of life just goes on rotating with more and more responsibilities on single man and his wife with no assistance,of morale encouragement of all others in joint family used to extend to the needy which used to be of immense help.That is the main drawback in nuclear family though financially well off with materialistic comforts but without the elixir of close net work of relatives to share thoughts,problems,feelings a d to seek advice to get relief from the days tension in all those near and dears company giving one lot of relief that somany are there to take care him and his family in the hour of any need.

once started nuclear family the individual face many practical problems which if calculation or decision go wrong leads to lifelong problems like choosing life mate for children .In joint families choosing a life partner either for man or woman it used to be easy as all the members of family used to suggest many suitable matches from their known friends and other relatives families with full details and background of the boy or girl,and selecting a suitable one matching to your children used to be easy and even all the relatives from both sides used to mediate not only fixing the match to the satisfaction of both sides.Even for smooth celebration of marriage to settling of any misunderstandings due to lapses or faults of either party even at a later stage in the married lives of these newly weds at a later stage all these elderly gentlemen used to mediate and used to settle the disputes successfully counselling the guilty and there never used to be any divorce cases that time in olden days of joint families due to availability of so many well wishers and that is the big minus point in the Nuclear families.

As said above the Nuclear families started with children getting higher and professional education and even daughters are also given opportunity of education on par with boys and this is one plus point giving equal opportunity of education and to get employment to be financially independent not to be sunset or t to man for her needs .As the nuclear families lack the support and guidance of the joint family members in getting suggestions of marriage proposals with full enquiry,now one has started depending on online and commercial marriage beureaus which act simply post office to only in suggesting matches on your requirement from the information provided by the boys and girls trusting them in good faith and manytimes 30 to 40% information may prove exaggerated and wrong ,but to get it verified one doesn’t have time and manly help and this used to lead to many misunderstandings and differences between the couple but there are no elderly relatives of joint family that used to mediate and counsel the guilty to mend for proper functioning of the matrimonial relationship.Thus when misunderstandings crop up in nuclear families of new couple or even at a later stage since wife is also financially independent unlike in olden days the matter is reaching courts for divorce.Thatswhy the divorce cases in nuclear families is nearly ten times more than in joint families of olden days.To sumup nuclear families certainly enjoying more materialistic comforts and wealth but lack the mental happiness,love and compassion of the near and dear available in joint family.

The views and opinions expressed by the writer are personal and do not necessarily reflect the official position of VOM.
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Written by sekhar

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