Part 1:-This present topic of ” Affections, bondage & attachments in blood relations” may be a common interest for all religions but here, the writer is dwelling on his study of Hindu families, both traditional joint families and modern nuclear families, only. Feeling not proper to generalise for all religions, as after going by the writers observations on his Hindu religion, other religion readers may contribute their observations and comments in respect of their religions reflecting the realistic analysis and happenings.
In good olden days, may be hundreds of years back, intelligentsia of those times like vedic scholars, pandits, along with shrewd intelligent big heads, in light of their experience and wishing that the traditional families of all castes should lead happy living with love, affection and attachments. Helping each other both in happy and difficult times envisaged joint family system with all children of the family head living together in the same big house sharing the responsibilities of property, household and taking care of elders and children as per the directions of the head of the family and old experienced in the family without any defiance.
This disciplined joint family system used to make the younger generation including children to learn many facets of daily life along with discipline, respect for elders, side by side developing good bondage and attachments with all the members of the family namely uncles,aunts,cousins,sisters and brothers, all sharing the same facilities and luxuries along with same type of inconveniences and difficulties too. As one develops bondage and attachments with each other, not even one member ever used to feel demoralised even in the worst moments of despair and frustration due to the morale support and encouragement of all other family members standing behind him.
Even for the marriage of daughters too, elders in the family used to jointly decide suitable spouse among the known friends and relative’s families, not giving any chance for cheating etc. Even if differences or problems arise between the newly married or their families, these elders being known to both families used to mediate and used to settle successfully the misunderstandings, by counselling the guilty to correct their follies. That’s why in old days, say up to 50 years back, divorce cases used to be very rare and that was the main advantage of the joint families of old days, when one used to get not only morale support but actual physical mediation of all big heads to listen to both parties and settle successfully the misunderstandings of not only between couples but also other disputes like property sharing, mistreatment of elders or daughter-in-laws by in-laws or errant behaviour of husbands due to alcoholism and sexescapades etc all these by elders in the joint family if needed getting the assistance of the village intelligent heads etc.
Now in the modern electronic age, with nuclear families one may be happy with materialistic life with money earned but lack morale and manual help in the eventuality of misunderstandings between couples and parents etc to mediate successfully counselling the guilty. That’s why we see in the modern times piling of divorce cases daily hundreds in cities in legal courts and also stories of children ignoring old parents relegating them to old age homes etc.Instead of detailing the modern age nuclear families, feel better to leave to youth to narrate the same in the form of their comments in rejoinder to my blog in the coming days. If any readers would like to add more on the old days affections and attachments they are all welcome.
The views and opinions expressed by the writer are personal and do not necessarily reflect the official position of VOM.
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